I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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