I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
