Did you just see the Batmobile???
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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