i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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