i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
