I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
