My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
