Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Randomize
