oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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