Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
