you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
