just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
