you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
