Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
