I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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