i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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