I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
