why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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