Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
