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So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I have already put on my inside pants.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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