your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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