dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
