someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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