Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
