Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
