I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
