Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
