jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
