if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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