It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
