Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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