How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
