You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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