so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
