bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
