Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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