xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
