It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
