You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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