i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
