YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
