I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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