wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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