dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
