Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
