yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
