U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
