i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
