What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
