There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
