'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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